Fairytales no more
by Chase Yuy
Summary: Brad says something that he later regrets. Now he is trying to help Schuldig trough troubled times.


Title: Fairytales no more  
  
Author: Chase-chan  
  
Disclaimers: I don't own the characters.  
  
A/N: /this means song lyrics/  
  
Schuldig shifted in bed and looked at the alarm clock. Four AM and he hadn't slept a wink. He groaned and tried once more to shut the voices out of his head. His efforts were fruitless, per the usual. He rolled again, hands against his head. "This ain't a gift," he murmured to himself. "It's a curse."  
  
"A curse that you cannot end," a voice said.  
  
The German telepath whipped around to see the dark haired Oracle. "What are you doing up?"  
  
"I can't sleep with your moaning and groaning."  
  
Schuldig looked down. "Sorry," he mumbled.  
  
/Dreams fade  
  
Friends betray  
  
The light of love brings grows dim/  
  
Brad Crawford shrugged his shoulders and sat on the bed next to the redhead. "It's not that big of a deal," he answered.  
  
"Even the fearless leader needs sleep," Schuldig said with a lopsided grin.  
  
"I still say you make me sound like the villain off of Rocky and Bullwinkle," the American growled jokingly. He reached a hand out to the shivering German and stroked his hair softly. "I wonder why those with the most power must suffer the greatest," he mused.  
  
/Fairytales were told to us as children  
  
Fairytales were promised to us.  
  
Somewhere in my mind I still wanted them to be true.  
  
Couldn't we live "happily ever after"?/  
  
"I just want to be happy," Schuldig whimpered. "Is that too much to ask, Brad? Is it really too much? If they'd go away, I'd be fine."  
  
"I know," the elder man soothed, still brushing the telepath's hair gently. "Someday."  
  
"When?" the redhead demanded. "When will they go away? When I'm dead and gone and it doesn't matter anymore?!"  
  
Brad sat back and looked at the young man, taken back by the sudden outburst. "I don't know, Schu," he admitted softly. "I just don't know."  
  
/Reality seeps in  
  
I've never welcomed it  
  
It's welcomed less now/  
  
A tear fell from the German's golden eyes and then others soon followed. Brad pulled him into an embrace, gently rocking him as he sobbed. "I had this idea once," he whispered, accent thick. "It was that it would all go away. It was a good idea, I thought. One that would keep me sane, ne?" Schuldig laughed a bit. Humorless laugh.  
  
"Oh Schu," Brad breathed, the telepath's pain troubling him.  
  
Schuldig shook his head. "Ideas like that are stupid though," he continued. "Life doesn't get better. It gets worse. On and on! A continuous cycle! I hate it, Brad! I want it to end!"  
  
/Fairytales are gone forever  
  
Times of hurt have come  
  
Fairytales are gone forever  
  
Along with it went my hope for a better future/  
  
"No," the American managed, clinging onto his friend as if he could never let him go. "No, don't."  
  
"Why not?" Schuldig demanded. "Why is it so horrible to think about that, huh? Haven't you ever just wanted to end it? Brad you've had a screwed up life! Haven't you ever just wanted to END it?"  
  
Schuldig was almost frantic know and Crawford soothed him as best as he could. "Of course," the clairvoyant answered. "But I know I couldn't do that to you all."  
  
The German chuckled. "We need you, but who needs me, huh?"  
  
/Someday when I'm old and grey  
  
I'm sure I'll look back on this day  
  
When I said that fairytales were no longer here/  
  
"Everything," Brad whispered, still clinging to the German. "Life. You are life, Schuldig. You're my life. You gave me that reason to live years ago and the reason to keep going. Please don't end that."  
  
Schuldig looked at him in the oddest way, face showing the lack of comprehension. "Everything?" he echoed.  
  
"Everything," Brad confirmed. He stopped, something bothering him. "What brought this on, Schu?"  
  
The German ducked his head away. "You," he confessed. "And what you said."  
  
/Then I'll remind myself in my gloom  
  
I couldn't have been the one to burst my bubble.  
  
It wasn't me who first said it  
  
Wasn't me that wanted to face this bitter reality./  
  
He had known that, of course. It had been a moment of harsh words and simply trying to get the German man to listen to him. Schuldig had been in his slump - not a dangerous one like this, so that is why Brad had exploded at him - and the American had laid into him. "You think life's a fairytale where we all live happily ever after, Schuldig?" he had demanded. "No! Life is a twisted, evil thing that wants to rip you apart, got it? You of all people should know that! Welcome to reality, Mastermind, and get use to it. You'll be dealing with it as long as you live."  
  
/So I'll hide my eyes from it  
  
Pretend that I can't see my horrible fate  
  
I can't really blame you  
  
Can't hate you  
  
Though I know I hurt because you're not there./  
  
Brad shivered visibly. "I'm sorry," he whispered.  
  
"No you're not," his younger friend answered in a low, dangerous voice. "You said it and meant it!"  
  
"Schuldig, you know my temper..."  
  
"Yes! And I know it was the truth," the telepath sobbed. "It's the truth and I hate it, but it is. So can I kill myself now and get it over with?"  
  
/So take me away from it  
  
Pain  
  
Hurt  
  
And sorrow/  
  
Brad felt tears fill his eyes. He blinked, not used to the wetness. "Schuldig," he whispered desperately. How to tell someone not to kill themselves? Do you tell them you need them? Can't live without them? Are incomplete without their presence simply around you? "I'm so sorry, please, Schu. I never meant for you to take that part of it to heart."  
  
Schuldig sniffed. "You're crying, Brad," he whispered.  
  
The American nodded and pulled his friend closer. "Don't tell."  
  
/Take me away from it forever somehow/  
  
"Tell me it was a lie, Brad," Schuldig sobbed. "Just tell me it was a lie. I can still believe that things will get better, right?"  
  
"You don't know how much I want to tell you to believe that, Schu," the American whispered. "But you know when I lie to you."  
  
Schuldig shivered and clung tightly to the Oracle's shoulders. "Please.."  
  
"I can't, Schu. That life is a fairytale. Fairytales are for children."  
  
/Because fairytales of our childhood are no more  
  
You've made this clear/  
  
The German looked as if he would make one last plead, but then stopped. "Then I don't want to leave the fairytale, Brad."  
  
"We left it so long ago," the elder man mumbled. "Too long ago."  
  
"I want to leave this now."  
  
Brad shook his head. "Not yet, Schu. Someday, but not yet, okay?"  
  
The German stared at him for a moment. "'kay," he mumbled, exhaustion beginning to settle in.  
  
"Not without me," Brad pushed.  
  
Schuldig nodded. "All right. Can we sleep now, Brad?"  
  
The American smiled. "Of course.  
  
"Will you stay? Keep the voices away?"  
  
The smile continued. "Of course."  
  
The two friends slept well the rest of the night. Bradley Crawford did not know what the distant future held. He assumed he'd see something if Schuldig were to take an action against his own life. The link between them was strong and he knew he'd see SOMETHING. Until then he would keep his old friend stable, best he could. Even if fairytales were gone with days long before childhood in the hell called Rosenkreuz, life might have a light at the end of the tunnel. Just maybe.  
  
/Fairytales are gone forever/  
  
A/N: Wow it's been a long time since I updated here. Go me! Wohoo! Yeah.. Umm.. This is non shonen ai. I suppose you could read it that way if you want, but it was not intended. Ja Chase 


End file.
